Being Punjabi

A certain blog post gone viral , an open letter to a Delhi Boy, specifically a very Punjabi Delhi Boy had me thinking. I’m not from Delhi, never even lived there, but whenever I’ve stayed there for any length of time, the place feels excessively familiar. It’s the Naarth, and most people speak in a very familiar accent. There is a certain Punjabiness about the place, from the food(which is awesome) to the way people behave in traffic to the way people spend money, and also unfortunately the way people stare at women. This viral post (has a 1000+ comments right now) generalizes to a fault and has attracted vitriol from many defenders of the faith and rational commentators who point out that she well spews hatred and makes too much fun of Punjabis. The open letter is funny in places, and I agree with her about certain things, but gets a little nasty sometimes (the Gurpurab and partition references).

Reminded me however, that I am Punjabi. Specifically a Punjabi Brahmin. Almost seems like a contradiction, ‘cause Punjabis are supposed to be overtly masculine and Brahmins are well...not. Also, reminds me of the time I read in an old sociological study while researching for my project that Punjab is one of the few places that the Brahmin is not dominant, in fact rarely owns land and most are priests or petty shopkeepers. At least my ancestors were in no position to oppress anyone unlike some others( Hint: Tambrahms :) ). There are however, certain Punjabi stereotypes that don’t come off too well on me. As a friend pointed out, “You can’t be Punjabi.” “Why?” “ You well, READ!” I can be loud, I put lots of white butter on my pronthas, I relish rajma-chawal( and BUTTER CHICKEN) , am prone to breaking into bhangra in quad parties when a Punjabi song comes on, I can atleast understand the language, but I have committed the cardinal crime of being “intellactual”( said in a strong Punjabi accent). I was the toast of all my buas and masis and chachis for being the only child to be found reading in a corner when all others were busy playing something or the other. I can’t drink great quantities of alcohol without being affected, can’t play sports to save my life, and try not to lech at girls on the street. When I meet ‘REAL’ Punjabi cousins I don’t like it when they drive their cars having downed pegs of whiskey playing very loud music and driving very fast. (especially when those cousins are fifteen years old). I don’t think it is my right to control my sister’s and every other female cousin’s life because I am their big brother.

On the other hand, I love Punjabi weddings , with their sheer ostentatiousness and spirit of celebration with the whole extended family, and the bloody incredible food( and hopefully for me in the future, alcohol). I am obsessed with Pakistan, actually just Lahore, because my grandparents came across the border. I love it when they talk in Urdu sounding Hindi, or when my relatives from Gurdaspur( who never came from across the border) call a Minister a ‘wazir’ rather than a ‘mantri’. For that is my heritage, to all those who call Punjab’s culture agriculture, I would like to point out the stunning Punjabi poetry ( Bulleh Shah, Shiv Kumar Batalvi) which has come to me via Rabbi, and my mom, who explains them to me. Having learnt Hindustani classical music I appreciate things like the Patiala Gharana and the stunning Sufi Punjabi heritage which also comes to me via Pakistan. No way can I disregard Bhangra, which is awesome to dance to, and which has had awesome things done to it in ‘Caneda’ and ‘UK’ by overseas Punjabis. For after all, culture is not the exclusive preserve of the Bengalis. And only in Punjab do you have things like Gurudwaras which give away free meals as langar. I also remember the time in a train when Hindu pilgrims from Ludhiana going to Haridwar shared food with the entire bogie. And the language in the state is awesome, unlike Delhi where they just speak Hindi with a Punjabi accent.

I am Punjabi, and I’m not Sikh (though I have a few Sikh relatives). Why do I emphasize that? It’s pretty cool to be Sikh but I just am not, and I’m still Punjabi. We don’t wear Pugries and along with gurudwaras(everyone goes to Gurudwaras, the Golden temple is just incredible) go to temples too. We speak Punjabi, comprise 45% of the state’s population and exercise a pretty pervasive cultural influence(check Bollywood) but I still get the ‘how’re you Punjabi but not Sikh routine’.

Punjab to me was always Chandigarh. On moving to law school I saw the rest of it for the first time, and though there are certain things about it that I can’t stand, it is a pretty incredible place. Unlike the rest of the country, most people are not poor, people have a lot of money and love to spend it, and there’s a certain altitude to life which is fun. I may personally don’t feel that way because I’m too ‘intellactual’ for them and thus will always not be exactly like them. But there is a certain part of me that is, and I think that’s pretty great.